Call it What You Want to Call it

I feel awful today. Just awful. Asshat decided that Sunday night was a "I'm getting drunk for no reason" night. And boy did he. Sitting on the couch drinking beer after beer and watching the History Channel on a Sunday night. How does that not scream Alcoholic? After he and Other Guy philosophized until midnight, I'd had enough. I went out to the living room and turned off the hall light and made my wishes for Quiet Time known. "Oh, yeah, sure, we'll keep it down."
MY ASS!
An hour later, they finally went to bed. Well, Other Guy went to bed. Asshat had to go through his twenty minute long bedtime readiness regimen. So I'm working off of a whopping five hours of sleep today. Not that this type of day was going to be good anyway, but I really could have used the extra sleep to deal with those things us ladies have to deal with on occasion. That said, OW OW OW OW OWWWWWIIEEEEEE
It's only 11:30 and I am already taking my second muscle relaxer of the day. This is ridiculous. No one should have to deal with this kind of pain. At least I don't have a thousand projects today. Oh no, I only have a huge training session to do later, which is about the last thing I want to be doing. Oh, you want me to present vital information about company policy changes? Because I had planned on whimpering in the corner curled around my heater praying for relief from the stabbing searing pain afflicting me. But forget that. Training it is!
I keep waiting for one of my coworkers to catch me popping pills and quiz me on it. I imagine it going something like this:
Coworker: Oh what's that?
Me: It's a pill (silent: Captain Obvious)
CW: A pill for what? Are you sick?
Me: No, I'm not sick.
CW: What's it for?
Me: It's a muscle relaxer.
CW: Oh, did you pull a muscle?
Me: No.
CW: (confused) Why are you taking a muscle relaxer then?
Me: Because I am in excruciating pain from cramps. Ok? Are you happy? Now GO AWAY!
CW: (stunned silence) scurries off

I feel like a bitch and it wasn't even real.