Monday, June 4, 2007

Wine-drinking, Cradle-robbing and General Devilment

Of all the things that I could say about Pamala, one thing I could never say is that this girl does not come through for me. Mere minutes after posting about my desire for some shenanigans, not only did she arrange for some, but she arranged for drunken shenanigans! For Pamala, this is huge. I was, in fact, the first person to witness Pamala drink enough alcohol to go and play in the ocean. Fully clothed. At two o'clock in the morning. And who was right next to her? That's right.
In keeping with our theme of wine, Pamala once again "procured" a bottle of wine from some work function or other. After she called me at the last minute to inform me that we were wearing dresses tonight (but neglected to tell me that we were still wearing flip flops) she told me to head over to Sara's house. Sara lives in I.V. still, on Pardall no less. It's pretty much the greatest thing ever. I hustled over there, anticipating having to park three blocks away and hike over to Sara's in my heels, but man did I luck out with a spot right out front. The night was in my favor I tell you. I was greeted at the door by Pamala and a wine glass full of some type of white. I never did find out what kind...and I still don't care. Pamala drained what was in the glass, looking for all the world like a pro, and handed it to me. I filled it back up for myself and, to my eternal delight, Pamala took the bottle from me and drank straight out of it! That's my girl.
After the three of us polished off the bottle, we headed out into the streets of I.V., decked out in our finery.
Our first stop was at some girl whose name I have completely forgotten's house on DP. Pamala and Sara were a bit tipsy from the wine, but I alas was far more sober than I wanted to be. After some difficulty, we managed to persuade the gate that we did indeed wish to pass through it. This would not be our only trouble with gates. Before we entered, Sara turned to us with a stern admonition that we were going to find Whatshername, say hello, go to the bathroom (what, we're girls, that's how we roll) and then bounce. As soon as we passed through that troublesome gate, I could see why. It was quite a crowded party, but there was an odd, almost stilted air to it. It seemed like everyone there had a very affected air, like they were all simply acting how people are supposed to act at parties, but there was no real revelry in the air. We made our way past the beer pong and the smokers to the inside of the house. I disappointedly surveyed a kitchen full of empty bottles. Then we found whoever that girl was. I remember what she looked like, but her name? Introductions all around, and small talk ensued. I sort of drifted off a bit when some guy almost ran into me, and some guy magically turned into Ryan Grandov, whom I hadn't seen or spoken to since Chris and I broke up two years ago. Awkward...In fact, Ryan and I only knew each other through Chris, double awkward. After the requisite how are you's, we jumped right into the only subject we have in common, Chris. I mention that Chris had called me the week before (true) and that Chris had gotten accepted into a Master program in Medieval Studies in York (also true, go Chris) and we chatted about how perfect that is, what with Chris wanting to be a Viking and all. See how much of this inane conversation I remember? Clearly I was too sober. At least I wasn't drunk enough to do something untoward with this guy I barely know while his Probably Girlfriend was hovering in the background. I said goodbye and found Sara and Pamala again, waiting for the bathroom in the hallway. It took us a few minutes of staring at the wall to realize that it was covered in post-it notes that the residents had written their special inside jokes on. As we were perusing these, a guy with some sort of hat and facial hair approached us to inquire if this was the bathroom line. We affirmed, and Sara told the guy that he looked very familiar. He told her his major, which was the same as Sara's, and she introduced us and then chatted with him a bit. Pamala was off in her own little world, amusing herself with the wall, and I was bemusedly watching her. The random guy and Sara finish chatting and said goodbye, bringing my and Pamala's attention back. He shook Sara's hand and then he kind of patted Pamala on the shoulder and said nice to meet you. Then he put his hand on my upper arm and leaned over to tell me that it was nice to meet me too, and slid his hand between my arm and my breast and slid his hand down my arm. Then, mercifully he left. I was shocked, but, honestly, what's a night out in I.V. without somebody getting molested? I was just taking one for the team here. Not that I didn't freak out about it outside, after we tricked the wily gate into letting us back out.
After some random events and only getting lost twice because Pamala couldn't remember the house number of where we were trying to go, and started combining the numbers of house we were going to with the house we had just left, we managed to make it to Tomer's birthday party. This house also had a gate, but lucky for us it also had a Gate Man, who let us in totally unquestioned. We are that awesome. The house had looked tiny from the front, and the actual house was tiny. But it turns out that it was only to make room for the biggest party I've ever seen in my life. There was a huge backyard area, complete with a full bar. Opposite the bar there were two huge storage shed serving as dance rooms, and in the back there was a patio with couches and the requisite beer pong table. We wandered aimlessly, searching for the birthday boy, and ended up by the beer pong. Needed a rest, we threw caution to the wind and actually sat on a DP couch. An outdoor one, no less. What were we thinking?
Time for some backstory. Pamala has known Tomer through Hillel for about a year. Until a few weeks ago, she'd never looked twice or thought about him at all. Then he asked her for her number, and Pamala gave him a total bitchface and asked why would he want it. Pamala does this thing, see, whenever guys hit on her, she is taken aback and creeped out, even if the guy is totally normal. So I forget what all happened, but she did end up giving Tomer her number. Big surprise though, he only invited her on Facebook and never actually called her. Sara and I gave her a fair amount of shit for that, because that's what we're there for. To call our friends on their bullshit. So since he didn't ever call, Pamala became a total girl and became intrigued. And that's pretty much how we ended up at his 21st birthday party.
Where were we? Right, sitting on the couch. After I decided that screw this I'm getting a drink, we all headed over to the bar. Pamala started texting to see where the next party we were heading to was, and I was strategizing how to get a beer. Suddenly someone yelled and ran up and hugged Pamala. She yelled "TOMER!" confirming for us that this was indeed the long-sought birthday boy. He was so excited to see her, it was adorable. She lightly admonished him for not calling her, and then he asked if any of us wanted a drink. This night kept getting better, I tell you. We sent him off to get me a beer, and then Sara chided Pamala to be nice to Tomer, since she had been so mean to him before. We seemed to wait a long time when we suddenly heard Tomer yell "PAMALA!" through the crowd. We called back, and he appeared from the crown with a lovely beer for me. I thanked him profusely and had at it, content to watch the show. And what a show it was, Pamala flirting outrageously with Tomer, and poor Tomer getting his signals all mixed up. After he scurried off, we had a laugh at Pamala's expense, since he's so very young for her to be flirting with, and headed back out to the next party.
The third party was really lame, and after we forced our way through the toughest gate of them all (what is it with you people and gates?), we found the person Pamala wanted to see, went to the bathroom and headed back to Sara's. We spent the next hour sobering up and making fun of Sara's romance novels.
The next day I remembered why I don't drink white wine. As I was recovering, Pamala and I spent a good four hours getting groceries and looking for propane tanks, so that she could actually have the barbecue that she'd invited everyone to. We had a good time at her place, and some good food. After everyone went home, myself included, Pamala and I made an amazing discovery. We both think that Tomer is hot.
Now this may not sound all that amazing to you, but here's the thing-Pamala and I never think that the same guy is hot. Ever. We have had discussions about it. We spent way, way too long looking at pictures of Tomer and marveling about how young he is and how neither of us is allowed to date him. Little does Pamala know, I have no morals.


Raconteur Extraordinaire said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Raconteur Extraordinaire said... morals have been lowered, after all, 21 is not that far from 22 (and um 11 months). One day we will look back on this post and laugh. for the pictures, the stalking (ahem, you) and general laughter at our ridiculousness.

Raconteur Extraordinaire said...

I must also comment one last time that I was not the one that could not stop stalking, in fact I did, quite quickly. You know I have the attention span of a 3 year old. I quickly stumbled upon something else facinating. You were the one that, for several days, would send messages of "I can't stop".
I've already moved on....sooooo much more news...including new battery for G-ma's pacemaker, Todd going to Iraq, momma getting a job, possible summer trip to Alaska, and so on.

Post a Comment