So it turns out that Clay is a liar and a coward. And manipulative. And I'm so over it. I just don't even want to deal with him anymore. He left on his insane trip last Friday, and it has been so nice to go to work and know that he isn't here. Before he left a few things happened that let me know exactly what kind of person he is. Cher asked him what had happened that he and I weren't hanging out as much as we used to and he told her that there hadn't been a falling out but he didn't want to talk about it. Whatever. So then later that day he and I were leaving at the same time and we were joking around and whatnot when all of a sudden he goes "Can I talk to you?" Like that ever ends well. I say yes, because what am I gonna say, no? He then tells me what Cher asked him earlier and I had to pretend like I didn't know. Then I steered the conversation back to the issue at hand, which was that she was right, we hadn't been hanging out as much as before. He then proceeded to tell me that he was in fact purposely distancing himself from me so that I wouldn't get the impression that he liked me as more than a friend. There was a lot of "I like having you as a friend", "You're a great person" blah blah blah whatever. The thing that's so grating about that is that it seems that he assumed that giving me the impression that he liked me as more than a friend would warrant me wanting to date him, which is a bit disconcerting. Secondly, and even more grating, is the fact that his prior behavior gave that exact impression to many many people, not just to me. People actually asked him what he was doing, since I had a boyfriend and all. I mean, the way he was acting, that is not how you act toward someone you see as just a friend. Apparently, it was ok to act that way when I had a boyfriend, but now that I don't, it's not safe because there might be repercussions that he would have to deal with. It really just bothers me that he assumes that I would want to do something if I had the impression that he liked me. If that were the case, I would have already. I have to remind myself that he doesn't know me that well, but I think that he knows me well enough to see that I am a very aggressive person who will go after what I want. I could be wrong.
But here is what really tipped the scale against him. I was cleaning out me emails and I found a series of emails between he and I that were about an incident that took place about a month ago. What had happened was that he asked me into his office and said "Can I ask you a question?" A little freaked out, I said sure because, again, who says no? He then said "Am I being too obvious?" With sirens and alarms going off in my head, all I could think to say was "Obvious about what?" He then decided that me not knowing what he was talking about was proof that he wasn't being as obvious as he feared and refused to tell me what it was. I talked this whole bizarre incident over with Cher and Christina and we concluded that it had to be that he liked me, based on his flirtatious behavior and that wacky incident. So I tried to goad him into telling me, but he didn't give in and I got bored and dropped it. And then mostly forgot about it. But then, as I said, I found those emails again. So I sent them over to him saying "Hey look what I found when I was cleaning out my inbox! What was that all about anyway? Just curious" Since he had already established that he didn't want me to think that he liked me, this had two purposes. The first was that, if he was telling the truth, I really did want to know what he was worried about being obvious about. Second, if he was lying and he was only just now worried that I might think that he liked me, this was a way to call bullshit on him. In response to my query, he simply replied "I don't remember." My Bullshit-O-Meter almost broke, it was getting such a high reading off of that. I sent him back "Bah", which is my basic noise-of-discontent-and-disbelief, so then he sent me this: "Well, like I said, it didn't involve you, and I trusted you to be a neutral 3rd party. The upshot is that I was a little too worried."
Which a) doesn't make a whole lot of sense, b) is somewhat insulting, c) who the fuck is this third party? and d) clearly he did remember. Which I called out to him in my response: "So you do remember then. I'm just curious what it was, since I couldn't trick you into telling me. If you don't want to tell me, whatever. I was just wondering." His response? "Sorry." Sorry for what, motherfucker? Sorry for being a liar? Sorry for being an asshole? Sorry you couldn't trust me for some unknown reason? I mean, what the FUCK?
One of the...I guess beliefs is right. One of the beliefs that I follow in my life is that you judge a person not by what they say, but by their actions. "Deeds will betray a lie" is the exact quote. And with his actions, I have a series of conflicting deeds. Which only leads me to one conclusion. He is a liar. I can't say about what. He may have been lying in the past, just playing a game that has gotten out of hand for him and now he wants to stop. He may be lying now, having changed his mind about me, or who knows what. Either way, the facts line up and point straight to the big flashing neon sign that reads "LIAR".