Oooooh I am hopping mad today y'all! Settle in, I'm in full on rant mode right now. Guys have done pissed me off. Why is it that guys think that it's totally fine to be complete and utter assholes? Is there some sort of chemical that gets released in their brains when they behave in a completely selfish and inconsiderate ways? If so, it must be some mutant form of serotonin, because they seem to do it whenever they have the opportunity. I'm thinking that it must be some type of addiction. Guys just can't be that stupid. Can they?
Asshole Example Number One:
Susan* has been friends with this guy Mike* for a long time. For about the last year, we've all known that Mike is mildly infatuated with Susan, but she doesn't see him as more than a friend, with good reason. Mike is incredibly selfish, on top of which he's incredibly insecure. His insecurities manifest themselves in bitter and resentful behavior on Mike's part, as well as making anyone else's problem somehow all about him. It's actually amazing to witness. Well, Mike worked (until last week) for the same person as Beth*, who is good friends with Susan. Mike said some things about Beth to the boss that were so fucked up that the boss felt obligated to tell Beth what had been said about her. Among the things that he said were some very derogatory comments about Susan. I'm not going to repeat exactly what was said, since a) I'm not supposed to know, and b) that is for Susan to tell whom she chooses. Suffice it to say that I think that the two of them, or at least Beth, should press charges against Mike.
(*names have been changed to protect confidentiality)
Asshole Example Number Two:
My roommate has been seeing this guy Chuck for somewhere around a year, a year and a half. Now I am not one to judge another person, I have no delusions that there are not things on which I could be judged. But there are a number of things in this situation that automatically make me prejudiced against him, one of which is that he has a girlfriend who is not my roommate. The story is complicated (isn't it always?), things like they've lived together for five years and they have an apartment and a car together, joint bank accounts, they are basically married. According to him, he and the girlfriend never really have sex (seriously?), they are more like best friends. Long story short, he sort of has a pass from the girlfriend to have an affair, as long as he continues to live with her. He feels obligated to stay because she is apparently terrified of having to find an apartment on her own, or really be independent in any way. So he says. And perhaps those are his intentions. But whatever his stated intentions may be, in reality he is living with one woman and romantically involved with another.
Another thing is that he has continually behaved in an incredibly hypocritical way. This is really what turned me so much against him. The most recent occurrence of this childish and selfish behavior took place during the last week. His girlfriend went out of town for a week or so, which Dalyne was happy about, assuming that he would be spending more time with her while his girlfriend was gone, as Chuck had expressed his desire to do. On Thursday morning he mentioned that he might go mountain biking later that day. Thursday passed and Daylne didn't hear from him, which is unusual. And then Friday passed, and she didn't hear from him. Friday night she was nearly frantic. The thing is, Chuck is one of those people who somehow missed the memo that other people can be concerned about you, and he never takes his phone with him when his goes mountain biking. He also never has his phone turned on, nor does he regularly check messages. I cannot begin to expound how ridiculous I find this. I mean, he is purposely making himself unavailable, as well as purposely refusing to make good use of a tool that could, in fact, save his life should he find himself injured in the fucking wilderness. It's just blatantly stupid as well as arrogant. He is basically saying that there is no chance that he would need it, since he is obviously invincible and there is no remote possibility that he could ever get injured while riding a bicycle down mountain trails. I'm getting sidetracked.
Saturday passed and Dalyne still had not heard from him, however, her mother pointed out that there was no way on earth that his girlfriend was going to go three days without hearing from him, so even if he was lying in the wilderness bleeding, she at least would do something. This stopped Daylne from being worried, but it rightly incited her fury, as well as mine. How disrespectful could he be that he would call his girlfriend to tell her he was alive, but not call the woman that he supposedly loves and wants to be with? Who does that? I understand wanting to be alone for some time, but you tell people "Hey, I'm gonna go be by myself for a while." You don't just fucking disappear for three days and not tell the person you"love" that you are alive and ok. Not cool.
So. Last night he came over to our apartment. I was out in the living room watching some season two Boston Legal (thanks Nicole!) when Daylne called my into her room. I came in and she just turned to me and asked "How worried was I last week?" A little on-the-spot, but ok. I answered to Chuck, "Oh, she was a mess" which is true. Then he looked back at her sort of confused and said "Why?" And he was sincere.
Y'all I was speechless. I mean, seriously?! Motherfucker was gone for three days without telling her a damn thing about where he was and he says "Why were you worried?" Let's all take a guess about what he would have done in the reverse situation. If Dalyne had disappeared for three days and not said a damn thing to him, as well as the last thing she told him being that she was going to go off on a potentially dangerous adventure in the motherfucking mountains. How angry and worried do you think he would have been? And he says "why". Are you fucking kidding me?