Full Disclosure

I finally got my deposit from Asshat, so the time has come for my Full Disclosure. So, those of you who do not wish to be identified, too bad, because man am I sick of making up nicknames for all of you. And now that even the pretense of concern that James the Asshat (I think I'll still call him that) would somehow find this blog and withhold my money is gone, I can just be myself and call y'all by name. So, here goes.

My name is Sarah Epperson. I don't like my last name, partly due to bad associations with my father, but mostly because Sarah was the most common girl's name in the English-speaking world when I was younger, and since there were always at least four other Sara(h)s wherever I was (and once a Cera), I was perpetually identified by my last name. I don't know why this cause a dislike, but it did.

Best Friend is Pamala. She is pretty much awesome, even if she never updates her own blog. There will likely be a great deal of stories involving her; since she sucks at telling stories, I have to do it for her or no one ever knows what happened.

Boyfriend is Niall. Pronounced like Neil. It's the Irish spelling, get over it. I cannot express how much it pained me to refer to Niall as "Boyfriend", nor can I imagine how often you cringed when you read it. It just seems to me to be such a one dimensional labeling of the most important man in my life. I hated calling him that and I am relieved that I never will again.

Roommate is Dalyne. Pronounced like Day-lynn. We live in the same apartment. So far, that is all.

Other Guy, AKA Pretty Decent Guy, AKA Asshat in Training is Patrick. I used to live with him. All in all, he is a pretty decent guy, even if he had a tendency to play his electric guitar at eleven o'clock at night.

Turbo is Billy. I met Billy my Junior year at UCSB, and he ended up being in almost all of my classes. He's usually a ton of fun (yay, Drunk Jenga!) and is one of the few people who came to appreciate some of my cracked-out movies as much as I do. Especially The Point ("Do you get my meaning Oblio?"). In spite of his often scruffy appearance, Billy has some of the greatest hair that I've ever seen on another human being. And of course, he completely takes it for granted. I have no idea why I call him Turbo. I used that name for a long time when someone was getting excited, "Whoa there, Turbo!", but since Billy is so calm and laid-back all the time, I don't know how it stuck to him in particular, but it did.

Old Roommate from College is Orly. Goodness, what can I say about Orly? I love this girl with all my heart. She is the perfect mixture of crazy intelligent and incredibly dirty-minded. Not to mention that she's Persian, and therefore physically perfect. I swear, if I were gay...Who am I kidding? I would totally hit that. I had the best time living with her. I miss her and her boobs and they all need to come and visit more often.

Number Four still needs to wait until later for explanation.

Ex-Boyfriend's name is Chris. See this post for more on him.

Friend I Never See But Whom I Dearly Love is Sierra. She's my favorite dirty-punk girl. Good times and sarcasm aplenty whenever we hang out. She was the first person to learn that Niall and I had drunkenly gone there. A few days later I was cussing a lot and she told me to shut my dirty whorish mouth. And I knew we'd be friends forever.

That's everyone.