The Itchy and Scratchy Show

I went to the allergist this morning for the first time ever. I've had vague allergies pretty much all of my life; itchy eyes, runny nose, sneezing, what have you. But my brother had much more severe, even life-threatening allergies as a child, so we were a bit more focused on that than on my sneezing fits, even though they are a thing to behold. It's a family trait. My dad has actually knocked himself unconscious by sneezing. I have so far managed to avoid that, but I do startle people on a regular basis.
Anyway.
The way an allergy test works is they have these disk that have needles that each have something that you might be allergic to on them. Four of these disks full of little needles are pressed into the skin of your back. Good times. Then whatever you have a reaction to indicates an allergy. There are cases where it is hard to tell if you are having a reaction or not. In those cases, they take a syringe and inject whatever you are having a borderline reaction deeper into your skin. Better times.
I am allergic to:
1. Dust mites (both varieties)
These little fuckers eat dead skin cells and live inside your mattress and pillows! How gross is that?

2. Cockroaches (no, seriously) EEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!! I kept asking the doctor, "Seriously? Cockroaches?" He assured me that it's true.

3. Cats
Like my darling kitteh Singe here. Sad.

4. Dogs. Also sad. I love dogs.

5. Yellow dock (some sort of weed)


Which grows all over the place. Yay.

5. Coastal sagebrush

Where do I live again? Oh yeah, in Santa Barbara. ON THE COAST.

So basically I am screwed. I have lots of drugs now though. There were a few things that I was surprised that I am not allergic to at all: trees, molds, or grasses of any kind. Crazy.