Book 5: Dune Prophet by Frank Herbet

I have been dreading writing this review. I did not care for this book at all. As an intellectual exercise, it serves a purpose. The universe of the book is well constructed and solid. The style of writing is one that I actually gravitate toward. But as an enjoyable read, for me it fails utterly. Everything had a sort of clinical distance to it, a sort of coldness that made it hard to relate to the characters. This was one of my biggest issues with this book. In the previous book, the characters were more relatable, more human. In this one, it's as though the author is just reporting events that happened with little to no insight into their reasoning or development. Yes, we do get an inner monologue for Paul and Alia, but it is fairly limited to their observations of the events they witness and descriptions of what their visions are like, but not much actual content. We are also told over and over that their "powers" are limited, but the only real evidence of this is what ends up happening to Chani. Granted, that was a huge blow to Paul, but I still question why it was completely out of the question to make her a ghola, aside from the possibility that she would not turn back into herself. The question of her posing a danger to Paul seemed bizarre after Paul was successful with Duncan Idaho, who posed a greater threat to Paul than Chani could.
That is a minor point though compared to my major complaint with this book. The Bene Tleilex. I mean, really. You are, in all seriousness, explaining the existence of the apparent nemeses of the Bene Gesserit, even though they did not exist at all in the first book. Where did they come from? The whole thing just screams plot device to me. And not even a good one. When you have an enemy that can change their appearance at will and create analogs of people that were dead, can even raise the dead, then you essentially have a group with unlimited power. Then you have to beat this enemy by being even more powerful.
I am a firm believer in limitations. Limitations are a catalyst of creativity. Without limitations it is very difficult to avoid a stagnant story. That's how I feel about Dune Prophet; it's stagnant. Reading it felt like I was treading water. I want a story that pulls at me like ocean tides. This was a chore to trudge through.

Book 4: Captive Bride by Johanna Lindsey

When I first figured out that I really was sick, not just hungover, I headed to the store to stock up on various medicine and cough drops and tissues and whatnot. I also came to the conclusion that all of the books that I currently had lined up to read were way too hard to concentrate on. So I did what any disease-wracked person wandering aimlessly around the drug store would do; I grabbed a trashy romance novel to distract me. My criteria was very simple: NO SCOTTISH ACCENTS! For some reason, the majority of these ridiculous books are set in Scotland, Ireland or England. Either that or The South, with horses, and yet somehow still with Scottish accents. The last romance novel I read was on some Scottish island and the characters spoke in random Scottish accents and it drove me insane. 

So I skipped over the covers with castles on them, and grabbed Captive Bride because there is an Arabian Nights sort of theme to the cover art. The back talks about how Christina Wakefield (yes, Wakefield, we'll get to that in a minute) can't resist the call of the Arabian desert and gets captured by a sheik and then falls in love with him (hello, Stockholm Syndrome). Sounds racy and totally free of anything related to northwestern Europe, right? WRONG! 

First of all, Christina is English. Secondly, her goddamn housekeeper/nanny is fucking Scottish, accent and all. If I wasn't so weak from being sick, I would have chucked the book across the room. Also, as far as romance novels go, this one is seriously lacking in the sex department. There is only one actual written sex scene. ONE. The rest of the sex is just implied, like "Phillip patiently brought her to life, snatching away her will as he did every night." That's it. That's the majority of the "sex scenes" in this stupid book. Oh, and Phillip? He would be the sheik that kidnaps her and is also English! Seriously, why is everyone English or Scottish in these damn books? 

I guess I should be sort of glad that there weren't more descriptive sex scenes, since Christina's last name was Wakefield. All I could think about whenever I was reminded of her last name was Sweet Valley High and the Wakefield twins. I mean, really, if you're going to write a romance novel, you might not want to name your character after other characters who are sort of ingrained in the minds of a likely significant portion of your target audience. 

Book 3: Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut

I didn't really know what to expect when I picked this book up. I've never read Vonnegut before, and I know that a lot of people consider this book the greatest thing ever, even getting quotes from it as tattoos. Whatever I could have expected, it certainly was not what I got. I can certainly say that I liked it, but I wouldn't go so far as to say that it was the greatest thing ever written. It's got a nice jumbled, rambling feel to it, sort of like having a long conversation with your favorite uncle when you're both a little drunk and it's two in the morning so things make a certain kind of sense that they wouldn't at any other time.

One of the most unexpected things for me was the sudden appearance of sci-fi elements. They time-traveling and the aliens seem almost glaringly out of place in this book, but only at first. Once you get into the rhythm of the story and the message that it conveys, these elements make complete sense.

There are also a lot of different topics packed into Slaughterhouse Five, but they are only hinted at and not thrust into your face. Some of the topics even contradict each other, the main example being that there is an anti-war sentiment alongside a pro-war sentiment. I am actually glad that I never read and analyzed this for any class, because I think I would have ended up disliking it. This way I can reflect and re-read it at my own pace and pull things out of it without any pressure.

Adventures in Stupidity

Scene at the bank.

Cast:

Me-Myself

Bank Teller-Twentysomething blonde girl with entirely too much makeup on

Bank Teller: What's your job title?

Me: Um, what?

Bank Teller: Oh, we have to ask you what your job title is now.

Me: Oh, ok. I don't think it will be in you list. Regulatory Affairs Associate.

Bank Teller: [clicks mouse a few times] Hmm...I can pick "other". How about that?

Me: Sure, whatever.

Bank Teller: Ok, I have to type in a description. What did you say again?

Me: [slowly] Regulatory. Associate.

Bank Teller: Hmm, that doesn't fit. Oh , I know! [types while spelling] R-E-G...A-S-S. There!

That's right. I am a Reg Ass. Good job.

Book 2: Transformation by Carol Berg

At 506 pages, this book seems longer than it is. This is due in large part to the simple, straightforward style the author uses to tell the story. The story itself is a fairly typical fantasy epic. There is an empire, ruled by a hard fighting warrior class, the Derzhi, whose society has roots in the nomadic tribes of the desert. There are several other "races" in the story aside from the ruling Derzhi. One of these races are the Ezzarians, who were conquered by the Derzhi. The story begins on the day that the narrator, an Ezzarian named Seyonne, was sold as a slave to the crown prince of the Derzhi empire, Aleksander.
The story is told through the first person perspective of Seyonne, the Ezzarian slave, as he uncovers a plot against the empire. through flashbacks to his former life, we learn that the Ezzarians were sort of guardians of human souls in a battle against demons. Seyonne becomes aware that certain members of the royal court are infected with demons. He takes it upon himself to protect the prince, in spite of Aleksander's arrogance and cruelty. As they uncover more of the demon plot, Aleksander and Seyonne escape into the wild to seek out the help of a hidden community of Ezzarians.
Both characters experience inner battles, both figuratively, as they face situations they greatly fear and take responsibility for their actions, and literally, as when Seyonne enters Aleksander's soul to battle the demon that has infected him. Both characters push and pull each other to become more than what they were, and each comes into his own as a result.
I have read Transformation before and I still find that it's an easy and enjoyable read. I tend to pick it up when I am bored with whatever I am currently reading and want to escape into another reality with ease. I also just noticed this very moment that "Book One of the Rai-Kirah" is stated on the cover.